Women, the fight for equal rights includes cutting back on some
The 8th of March is the International Women’s Day and here in Helsinki, a manifestation is taking place for more equal rights among men and women. Put aside the hardcore feminists who aren't able to reason while blindly convinced they are in a holy crusade, and let us talk over the matter.
People with distinct capabilities have different duties in the society. These are tagged with particular rights. Basically: you give and you get. Women and men do have biological differences which cannot and should not be fully overwritten by a social homogeneity. Small or tall people, hairy, left handed, black, yellow, strong, weak, etc. are differences which we should be celebrating, a feature essential to survival. If we keep pressuring to have a bullet-proof fair share into the last crumble, soon we will have a 5 day long Oscar nomination ceremony with categories as diverse as: Best female, yellow, left handed, vegan actor.
The struggle for a more balanced society with more social justice regardless of gender is an important one and one that should never fade out. But let us not forget that Women today do have more rights in many sectors of the society than men do (especially in the western countries). So, is the struggle a humanitarian one or simply an extremist one? If its humanitarian, the PR is poor: Feminism is as good as Machismo in being a misleading title.
Women’s bodies are being misused: Quoting spider man, with great power comes great responsibility. Most women, even before they become women, realize their seductive power over (most) of us slimy men. We are (still) biologically and culturally triggered for the hunting, and women manage the hunt to their own benefit, they do not say no to it. When the beast loses interest, the pray usually pimps herself up more, to be again ON in the beeps of the radars. It is called self-propaganda which we all love to do. Women do more so with their looks, because the visual cortex of men is a more developed one. Women brains are stronger in the auditive side and thus men hit back with the usual impressive salesman talk, to convince the other half in taking that precious seed in. So who started first? Natural selection again? This is far from being a black and white topic on who is misusing what.
Because at a tender age withholding such power of attraction, women do disregard men more easily with a cold look, turning their heads away and not leaving a sentence back; they learn how to play with men’s desires and emotions in a very violent pattern. The game is perpetuated with confusing signals to keep the interest awakened. Emotional violence derived from a sense of disempowerment and confusion is a major cause for physical violence. Who is to blame for such, the actor or the cause? Another grey on the game! Keep also in mind that domestic violence from men or women is not so far apart statistically. These numbers are also a hard match to reality as a man will unlikely report the abuse suffered. But even if he dismisses the societal shame overcasted upon him, if he wishes to seek refuge and support, places to call or to go to are scarce. For women, these are abundant. Try as a boy or as a man to cry in public confessing your problems to the world. Try the same as a girl or as a woman. Your peers and strangers will carry the latter on their shoulders while the former is stigmatized.
So If women want equality, let us then start with the simple parental custody rights. Why should it be default that children’s custody go to women and men have to struggle hard in court to even being able to glimpse their own children? So are we now admitting that biological differences matter? You cannot ignore the simple fact that a man can fecundate half China in one ejaculation while women eggs are a limited resource. Scarcity does make a difference in duties and rights and its plain silly to overlook that.
The discussion is important and I stress once more that I do not advocate a return to a macho society with a submissive woman. I advocate a Mandela’s approach: do not hit back because you suffered injustices in the past. One must be the change already in the process of change. Readjusting Oscar Wild's quote, "if a woman wants to hold a man, she has merely to appeal to the (best) in him!" not his worst.
Published also in spanish in:
Recommended for further thoughts on this matter: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fwMukKqx-Os
Pedro Aibéo is a trained Design Architect (M.Sc., Dipl. Ing., TU Darmstadt, Germany) and Civil Engineer (M.Sc., Licenciatura, FEUP, Porto) with over 50 buildings designed and built on 15 countries. He is also a Visiting Associate Professor at UNAM University, Mexico and at Wuhan University of Technology, China, and a Lecturer, Research Assistant and Doctoral Candidate at Aalto University, Finland on "Architectural Democracy". He is the founder and Artistic Director of “Cidadania” theatre+games group, Germany, with written and directed theater plays at the United Nations and the Staatstheater Darmstadt on urban slavery and astronomy. He is a professional Musician at "Homebound" and the founder and Artistic Director of the "World Music School”. He is a drawing teacher at the croquis nights in Helsinki and a comic novel writer on mathematics. He is a published current affairs author in several newspapers.